Artifact Found!

Posted by 10 of 11 on June 28th, 2007 filed in Asteroid Pies

Recently, while searching through the vast archives of The NORN Collective’s early years, I discovered a wondrous artifact that has waited patiently to be found and begin again it’s reign of glory.

Early in the years of Our Terrible Overlord of Ground Transportation Nornan III (before we knew the full breadth of his depravity), an oddity was discovered about the malevolent mechanical monstrosity. In the front passenger seat, there was a bar that seemed to serve no purpose. The locals, for lack of an explanation of this strange structure, decided to call it a towel rack. A long standing member The NORN Collective decided that since it was a towel rack, it seemed silly for it not to have a towel hanging from it, especially when one considers the writings of the great wise man Douglas Adams, in which he recommends having a towel with you at all times (for obvious reasons).

The towel was greeted with great jubilation by all who saw it. For many years, it served as a shining beacon, the last vestige of hope against the growing tide of vehicular villainy. But alas, like so many things that would buoy an oppressed peoples, it was tragically removed from the vehicular venue it proudly hung in for lo these many years. The ultimate culprit? The sun’s rays caused a bleaching of color, resulting in a faded towel, and what some perceived as faded hope.

It was stored, lost, and eventually stories of the light it brought turned to myth and legend. Many doubted whether such a thing could even exit, but those few, those faithful, those old enough to remember Nornan III’s tyranny and the light that the Towel of Destiny offered never wavered in their steadfast belief that the towel would eventually return to the people.

At long last, the towel is found. During this writing, it has been undergoing a painstaking cleaning and restoration process (read: the washing machine). And tomorrow… tomorrow it shall return not to the oppressive reign of Nornan III, who has long since been vanquished, but instead it will take it’s rightful place within Isabelle, our new beautiful and benevolent ground transportation coordinator. While she possesses no towel rack from which the Towel of Destiny can hang, a place will surely be made for it.

The Towel of Destiny once brought hope to a hopeless people, and was stricken down for its efforts. One can imagine that, like the phoenix born again from its ashes, the Towel of Destiny will inspire us to greater heights than before and lead us all into a new golden age.

Photos of the Towel of Destiny

10 of 11
The NORN Collective (Unimatrix 001, Beta Node)
Command Staff Adjutant / Chief Archivist

Comments are closed.